Quietude

  • beasts at the beach with no sun screen on

    feasting on feeling the weekend all week long

    salt water freedom, friends when you need them

    sorrow won’t have a way then

    i’d rather be good then grown

    cleaning up pieces and rising alone

    one bedroom loft with an ocean view

    plants im thé office and kitchen too

    hopping between adventure and fearing

    the Sunday night feeling in any new ceiling

    i’d rather be good then grown

    cleaning up pieces and rising alone

    one bedroom loft with a courtyard view

    honey cream curtains and quietude

  • i don’t wanna strike a conversation

    i don’t wanna feed you empty lines

    i don’t like the pain that i’m creating

    and i’ve been feeling this way for some time

    i can’t make you love me less

    i can’t keep on dreaming i’ll say something i regret

    there’s a light we tried to find and now we’re kneeling in the dark

    i wish you were strong enough to break my heart

    break my heart, come on baby

    break my heart, only you can save me

    there’s a light we tried to find and now we’re kneeling in the dark

    i wish you were strong enough to break my heart

    never gonna find the piece we’re missin’

    never had a fire to fix the frey

    and every time you reach to close the distance

    I only take another step away

    i can’t make you love me less

    i can’t keep on dreaming i’ll say something i regret

    there’s a light we tried to find and now we’re kneeling in the dark

    i wish you were strong enough to break my heart

    break my heart, come on baby

    break my heart, only you can save me

    there’s a light we tried to find and now we’re kneeling in the dark

    i wish you were strong enough to break my heart

    and i can’t do you wrong enough to tear this all apart

    i wish you were strong enough to break my heart

  • harvard and oak wood, western and beverly

    sonnets in the cross streets, ill never show you

    hardly matters you can probably smell it on me

    unless i’ve done a better job of hiding than i wanted

    your type is tattood, my arms are crystalline

    what can i do to get you down in ink

    and are we thinking straight or circling

    the things we thought we wanted, we’re exhausted

    i imagined resting on your shoulder through the concert at the bowl

  • late sunday afternoons, april through august

    that’s when my friends try the beach if it’s warm enough

    i’m hiding out in this west coast apartment, holed up in hopes of a hit

    guess I’m gonna be fucked up for a long time, shit

    last time I saw you we smiled through the awkwardness

    i still don’t get why you hand-washed my car and

    since then I met someone a few inches taller it’s

    strange to be reaching on my toes to kiss, but

    i’m gonna be fucked up for a long time over it

    i’m so tired of filling my mind up with feeling behind

    always pining for time or to be younger, this title wave

    i’m sinking under is a nightmare and you used to dry me off after it hit

    guess i’m gonna be fucked up for a long time

  • you took a lot from me

    i want to move along peacefully, and

    every ending calls for loss to some degree

    but you took a lot

    you pointed out my faults

    pressed hard into like open wounds with salt

    even as i pleaded for a treaty like adults

    you took a shot

    passing strange as the light changes over

    i’m getting closer to unwinding but there’s time

    time enough to find it

    don’t let your anger burn

    i’ll quiet any rumors in return

    find refuge in the peace we’ll have to learn

    grief can’t be taught

    and you took a lot

  • Every now and then I miss when you were mine

    Something extra lonely ‘bout the evening time

    And we had lots of problems, but I only 

    think about those while the sun shines

    I went through deleting your old messages

    Call it masochism call it cleanliness, and 

    I almost forgot how much you 

    Cared before you stopped

    I was kind then I was not

    Guess we both got what we got, but


    I made good on my plans, man

    Up in Beachwood Canyon

    New years of nineteen I couldn’t help myself

    You were getting drunk while I kissed someone else

    We changed the rules so many times and both lost sight

    Of what was feeling forced and what was feeling right, but

    I made good on my plans, man

    Up in Beachwood Canyon

    Some days I imagine you a passer by the 

    Less I know the better of your present life

    And you deserve someone who eats up 

    All your cheesy dance moves

    I know, you know I tried, but

    I made good on my plans, man

    Up in Beachwood Canyon

  • late september dappled sun, the mendocino coast

    with lovers drinking wine while lavender and thyme weave through the air

    I can’t wait to meet you there

    If your sorry shoes could one by one across the violent waves

    and into milder water you would see I tried to care

    I can’t wait to meet you there


    two of us gathering turquoise treasure

    now, laden tokens of time together


    love you, knowing as the waves lay broken

    and the sun sets golden on our trail,

    this ocean can’t erase our moment

    come and past but ever cast in stone

    and scattered out across another shore somewhere 

    I can’t wait to meet you there

Nil Satis

  • Full mouth of venom

    Gave the last of my fare to a 

    Devil in denim and a cheap top hat

    Gotta sleep on that


    Slow burning up 

    Flying the country, 

    Collecting love in these dim lit bars

    should it be so hard


    It’s a steep pay in, pay in, pay in, pay in

    Pay in, pay in

    And I keep payin’, payin’, payin’, payin’


    Sand man is callin’

    But the track plays back on the lowest i’ve fallen for a benjamin

    Can I not need him?


    I’m losing touch

    Starving the harbinger who cared too much 

    She was just so sweet

    As her fingers bleed


    From all that playin’, playin’, playin’, playin’ 

    Playin’, playin’

    And I keep payin’ payin’

    Pay in, pay in, pay in, pay in

    Pay in, pay in

    Pay in, pay in, pay in, pay in

  • I’m a do later seductress

    And you're my favorite accomplice

    If we could spring from the king bed

    Imagine what we could accomplish 

    Oh who knows

    I’m one of only two in this

    The rest is nobody's business

    Doped up on altitude sickness 

    With no one else to bear witness 

    Don’t look at me like that,

    You know i can’t help myself

    Let’s skip the afternoon party

    Now that it's already started

    We’ll disappear to the darkest

    Part of my one bed apartment 

    Don’t look at me like that,

    You know i can’t help myself

    We’re a couple of self respecting day neglecting fools

  • Woke up and left in the same shirt I slept in

    The hard times have crept in again

    Top of the season, i’m down for no reason

    Too gone to lean on a friend

    Operation glory don’t leave me to my own devices


    This lions a captain

    She fired the lapin

    It’s not gonna happen

    If every time I’m 


    Onto the next thing and overprojecting

    Reptilian anger and hate

    My self esteem races to terrible places

    To keep me from feeling afraid 

    Tell them all a story and feed on the life of a crisis


    This lions a captain

    She fired the lapin

    It’s not gonna happen


    This lions a captain

    She fired the lapin

    It’s not gonna happen

    [cool as the eye can see, don’t you dare pity me]

    [cool as the eye can see, don’t you, don’t you dare]

    [cool as the eye can see, don’t you dare pity me]

  • Yesterday you were here with me

    Now i wake and you’re in a new city

    The afternoon goes rumbling through anyways

    Setting fire in a windy place

    You had no patience to fan the flames 

    I’d never try in vain, what a shame


    Under my skin, all of the songs I could’ve written

    Color me blue, you wanted it too or did you?

    Over my head, something you said, all of the 

    Crimson dreams you painted me instead

    To color me in, get under my skin


    All ablaze call me delicate, 

    Were we tasting rain for the thrill of it?

    You’d never keep me dry, but I thought you’d try


    Under my skin, all of the songs I could’ve written

    Color me blue, you wanted it too or did you?

    Over my head, something you said, all of the 

    Crimson dreams you painted me instead

    To color me in, get under my skin


    No hard feelings, cannon fodder

    Don’t paint this face with salty water

    Sunken cost, that much I lost but not my honor


    Under my skin, all of the songs I could’ve written

    Color me blue, you wanted it too or did you?

    Over my head, something you said, all of the 

    Crimson dreams you painted me instead

    To color me in, get under my skin

    Under my skin

  • We met for coffee on the East Side

    I tried to break the plan enough times 

    He over unbuttons his shirt, not my concern

    It used to fucking piss me off

    Always the little stuff isn’t it


    Now we talking like we’ve never been inside each others lives 

    Softer than i’m perfect, we made sense for a time,

    But now we’re talking like we’ve never been inside each others lives


    Waitress comes to take our picture for a new campaign

    She said “a love like yours make my job easier”

    We said nothing


    Funny what people pick up

    Always the little stuff isn’t it


    Now we talking like we’ve never been inside each others lives 

    Softer than i’m perfect, we made sense for a time,

    But now we’re talking like we’ve never been inside each others lives

  • A misty morning, a thousand miles from home

    Where church bells toll throughout the old ravine

    Fight compulsions to check my telephone 

    I refuse to be a creature of routine

    If that scares out, you’d better say it now


    Happy New Year, Happy New Year darlin’

    Sleeping in your arms and still so far away

    Happy New Year, Happy New Year darlin’

    Is this the year we finally say the secrets we’ve been guardin’


    Your best friend's wedding, we suit up for the 

    Shutter of a camera and toast blueberry wine, and

    I’d been betting on some spirit from the glamor 

    But this dress is just a rental, not mine 

    If you want all in, you’d better let me spin


    Happy New Year, Happy New Year darlin’

    Sleeping in your arms and still so far away

    Happy New Year, Happy New Year darlin’

    Is this the year we finally say the secrets we’ve been guardin’


    What can I do if I can’t keep a promise

    what can I do if I can’t keep a promise

    what can I do but leave you in the darkness

    Till this part is through


    Happy New Year, Happy New Year darlin’

    Don’t you know I’m sorry to be so far away

    Happy New Year, Happy New Year darlin’

    If it’s the year we finally share the secrets we’ve been guardin’

    Cheers to everything we’ll never say

  • I am not lost in you

    Although i long to be

    The way birds take to blue 

    The way you’re lost in me


    Don’t you deserve someone

    Who can give everything 

    Don’t I deserve a love 

    Someone to get lost in 


    Your heart is warm inside 

    Your word is bonafide 

    Your door is open wide

    There’s nowhere to hide 


    There is no storm to come

    There is no judgment day

    There is no harm in us

    Choosing to separate


    Your heart is warm inside 

    Your word is bonafide 

    Your door is open wide

    There’s nowhere to hide 


    I hope you pardon me

    Although it’s hard to do, but darling

    Can’t you see you are the last one I’d lie to 

    I am not lost in you

    I am not lost in you

  • Vermillion stains across the wall

    Oh Lord, I’d listen for your call

    This journey homes a living hell

    And not believing hasn’t worked so well


    A prison chamber with a view

    Coaches racing down the avenue

    Save some of that rescue for the rest

    With ghost hearts beating out our chest


    I call for me, I call for you

    Calling for anything new

    I call today, I call tonight

    Keep on ‘till going don’t feel right


    She said “it’s getting to your bones”

    She loves me all too much to know

    When her eyes fail to see me straight

    Though i’m no power to deliberate 


    So now I turn to you again

    With wounds that follow me like foul friends 

    Set for a sign however faint

    Out of time to renegotiate


    I call for me, I call for you

    Calling for anything new

    I call today, I call tonight

    Keep on ‘till going don’t feel right


    I call for me, I call for you

    Calling for anything new

    I call today, I call tonight

    Keep on ‘till going don’t feel

    Going don’t feel right

  • Sundays in, May through june

    Still in time, out of tune

    Used to try to keep in touch

    Lost the will to call you up


    Silly girl, where you been

    Hiding out, looking thin

    Paper thin

    Sundays in

  • It’s been a long week

    It’s been a long wait

    With all of this weight, all of this

    And while I’m walking

    I feel like calling, but

    Nothing good can come of it, 

    All of this


    Rest or desolation 

    Only you know how it feels to lie


    These Empty pages 

    They come in stages

    Seems its ages of marble white 

    So if not lovin,’ a paper cut then

    To treat the deadpan suns

    And muted nights


    Rest or desolation 

    Only you know how it feels to lie


    Fighting the deep end always

    Depends how deep it gets, oh 

    Shallow if I only knew how

    Trip and stumble over in these

    Shoes I’ve stolen, Grab a hold then

    Wash up somewhere far from home, and

    Dress down in a stranger's clothes

    This rest or desolation

    Only you know how it feels to lie

  • You are my maid and my maker 

    You are my giver and my taker

    Fill out every in between

    You've been the end, you are the means

    You are my steady interruption

    From every alley or corruption

    You fill me up and bleed me dry 

    No telling when, no asking why

    My faithful friend when i am lonely

    Promise to never be mine only

    You’ll be the brightest star i steer to

    As long as I can hear you

    I can hear you

    I can hear you

Aliens

  • Meet me at the coastline

    Take my reservations on holiday

    Don’t forget the lotion

    Dear i’m looking ghostly and it’s only may

    Summer tears and sandalwood

    Loved you in the way I could

    Loved you in the way I could

    Sorry that it wasn’t good for you

    You were pressed for more time

    Never understood i was standing there

    Interactive aliens

    Born and raised on different displays of care

    Summer tears and sandalwood

    Loved you in the way I could

    I don’t think i’m any good

    I don’t think i’m any good for you

  • Baking in the heat of a teen sun

    Summers’ gonna bleed me dry if I

    leave this street let the colors run

    I don’t need a shoulder,

    I just wanna peek at what’s to come

    Caught it in my throat and i could breathe for once

    I’ll depart when the park is overrun

    Bad faith in your good graces

    Green grass seems miles away

    and yet you take up all the public places

    Sparrow up ahead like a sinew

    Fighting from a hunters bite in

    the wide set eyes it was born to

    I don’t need a shock to the system,

    I just wanna clear clear view

    Caught it in my throat that i don’t need you

    i’ll depart when the park is overrun

    open heart baby i’m not here for fun

    How hollow, only i could know

    . . .

    You’re wearing off, you’re wearing off on me

    You’re wearing off, on and off on me

  • I don’t wanna give you all of me all of me

    Sipping cola at the bar

    Feed your sugar loaded greed for a part of me

    Evolution of a scar

    Pedestal to stand or fall from

    Never step in one direction

    Terrified to speak my mind

    for fear I'll crumble

    Hard time remembering dreams

    you say i’m what you’ve been needing

    Cannon ball to ease my ego

    I’m not here to dive

    I don’t wanna fill the soda cup any more

    Tuck you in or pick a fight

    You can walk me down the block to the corner store

    Just don’t hold me to the light

    Pedestal to stand or fall from

    Never step in one direction

    Terrified to speak my mind

    for fear I'll crumble

    fear i’ll crumble

  • sips her gin and tonic in panic as if it’s the

    last she’ll taste of juniper forevermore

    spying on neighbors across the way

    as daylight wanes from the penthouse floor

    alone in the city

    is never alone really

And Things

  • In a short lived stolen moment

    between coming from and going

    On the island of Manhattan

    where the strangest things can happen

    You’ll be sitting sipping coffee looking pretty as always

    And the sight of you will stop me in my tracks

    Oh Samantha, I had plans but

    Never knew that needed saying

    Oh Samantha, I wrote anthems

    Just to drown the sound of waiting

    Well I’ll ask about your work and you’ll ask me how my tours been

    And we’ll toss those softball questions for a while

    But too many years divided can only lead to forced politeness

    Check your watch and leave me with a smile

    Oh Samantha, I had plans but

    Never knew that needed saying

    Oh Samantha, I wrote anthems

    Just to drown the sound

    No need to be forthright

    Seem you had a nice life, and I did too

    But in the back of my mind

    In another timeline

    I had a better one with you

    Samantha, I had plans but

    Never knew that needed saying

    Oh Samantha, I wrote anthems

    Just to drown the sound

    Just to drown the sound

  • We stand at South Station, 

    crossed arms and forced conversation

    Neither wanting to claim blame for some 

    altercation I can’t reclaim, but we talk

    Yeah we talk, yeah we talk 

    Cause a bitter fairwell’s bad luck

    We argue with crimson violet

    Hot stares and cold powered silence 

    I guess that’s our way, you and me

    Tender hearts, temper fits, 

    And that’s the way it’ll be

    Unless we try and change it

    But I hate, yeah I hate 

    How it makes me still feel like a kid

    . . . .

    At the station I think of Scarlett

    An old friend from the farmers market, she’s 

    encyclopedic on greenery and seedlings and

    Likes lots of people but keeps to herself after

    Spending the year by a hospital bed and now

    Scarlett has no one to argue with

    Scarlett has no one to argue with 

    Scarlett has no one to argue with so I

    Start to lose taste for our arguments, 

    Knowing Scarlett has no one to argue with

  • Just a small child with green eyes

    And a complicated love for the spotlight

    Only wanting it if you look just right 

    And never thinking you do

    Used to sing out in grade school

    Till the other graders made you feel uncool

    Wasn’t very faithful to the golden rule

    It doesn’t matter either way now

    Count your cost, quit your dreaming

    Now that Alexandra’s screaming

    She saw it from so far off and still 

    Somehow you’re lost and beaten down

    Where’d you find that scathing silence

    Addiction to a fiction of self-reliance

    Saying “you can’t make it till then”

    Will you ever write a wishlist in ballpoint pen?

    Say you’re wounded when the truth is

    That’s a bead along a string of excuses

    You meet her in the bathroom each time

    The villain and the victim on either side

    Count your cost, quit your dreaming

    Now that Alexandra’s screaming

    She saw it from so far off and still 

    Somehow you’re lost and beaten down

    Alexandra’s screaming now

    Fracture’s in the steps peak out

    To keep you from your temple

    When will it get simple

    Tell me it gets simple

  • Dust on the steeple, warry-eyed people

    Filling the streets with dreams and mistakes

    City life leaves you wearied and green too

    Nobody needs you but everyone takes

    Day in, day out

    Signs say “stay in,” “stay out”

    John and Cece make it look easy

    Bread in the morning and songs in the evening

    Up in the hills where the air gets lighter

    And the sounds of the freeway taste 

    Like the waves they catch on weekends

    I keep their home fit while they’re away

    watering their children

    Finding magic hidden everyday

    in love notes they’ve written

    Soon they’ll head back west for summer

    I’ll be gone by their return, hanging daisies on 

    Whatever door I next call mine

    A lesson learned in taking time

    John and Cece make it look easy

    Pack in the wagon and drive to the beach and 

    Out where the sea sways to meet the horizon

    The same glisten they find in each other's eyes and think isn’t this something

    Isn’t this paradise

    All we need’s this sunset and guitar

    The height of luxury is sitting where we are

  • New York, you’re bad to me

    You spend my money and my energy

    Change my plans without apology

    When nothing’s running express

    New York, you don’t treat me right

    Cars and sirens keep me up each night

    And your diamond studded pavement’s a trick of the light

    Ooh, you put my love to the test

    I’m tied up like a pretzel

    Trying to be what I’m not

    You should make me feel special

    But I’m just a drop in your pot

    Someday I’ll settle down

    With some sweeter, cleaner, greener town

    And I won’t mind having all that space around

    But you’ll be hard to forget

    I’m tied up like a pretzel

    Trying to be what I’m not

    You should make me feel special

    But these sorry-starry eyes are on every city block

    Someday I’ll settle down

    With some sweeter, cleaner, greener town

    And I’ll make my waves while all your new lovers drown

    And the train keeps running and the world spins round

    But something will be missing it’s true

    Oh New York there’s no getting over you

    Oh New York there’s no getting over you

  • Late afternoons on miracle mile

    Let’s take a break from the day for a while

    You grab your skateboard, and I’ll do my best

    To keep up on my own two feet

    Smile at the neighbors, smell all the flowers

    Point out the houses much nicer than ours

    “We’ll get there someday” you shout back my way

    Tracing waves down the street

    Yesterday’s troubles can rest in our room

    The Ana’s are out and the Anda’s in bloom

    Tell mom and papa we’re gonna be fine

    Old sunny skies can’t be far down the line

    Every day we can greet with a smile is a miracle

  • Through the picture window, winter falls

    We tiptoe out as adventure calls

    Breyer horse collection, dollhouse chairs

    Packed now somewhere

    Me and my good friend down the road

    We thought our parents would grow old together

    There it is, memories we bend to fix in boxes

    The dogwood days have come to end

    Leave the kitchen light on, one more night

    We crowd the island like olden times 

    Through the picture window, life in limbo

    Now that it’s only a launching site

    Old tennis rackets and winter coats

    Tricolored ribbons and birthday notes

    I’ve got a feeling this is only the beginning

    There it is, memories we bend

    To fix in boxes and never find again

    The dogwood days have come to end

    To end

  • Every now and then I miss when you were mine

    Something extra lonely ‘bout the evening time

    And we had lots of problems, but I only 

    think about those while the sun shines

    I went through deleting your old messages

    Call it masochism call it cleanliness, and 

    I almost forgot how much you 

    Cared before you stopped

    I was kind then I was not

    Guess we both got what we got

    But I made good on my plans, man

    Up in Beachwood Canyon

    New years of nineteen I couldn’t help myself

    You were getting drunk while I kissed someone else

    We changed the rules so many times and both lost sight

    Of what was feeling forced and what was feeling right

    But I made good on my plans, man

    Up in Beachwood Canyon

    Some days I imagine you a passer by the 

    Less I know the better of your present life

    And you deserve someone who eats up 

    All your cheesy dance moves

    I know, you know I tried 

    But I made good on my plans, man

    Up in Beachwood Canyon

    Up in Beachwood Canyon

Nomadder

  • Helpless dawn dream broker

    Will you make me memorize

    every marking on the wall?

    California’s no closer

    Wading through the darkness to the hall

    Fill my cup in silence as I think his name in bold

    We’re restless with ambition and we’re new to being old

    I sleep in an unmade bed of questions

    Waiting on a sunrise that may never come

    Let me lie awake then, write the whole night through

    I don’t know what home is when I don’t come home to you

    “It kills me too,” he said, it kills me too

    Early 20’s is chasing

    Bent on moving fast enough,

    before the where or why

    California’s a daydream

    That only pays a call till after midnight

    Plans to keep my promise, pack my mother’s compact car,

    Help to(us) tiptoe round the edges of remembering how far

    I sleep in an unmade bed of questions

    Waiting on a sunrise that may never come

    Let me lie awake then, write the whole night through

    I don’t know what home is when I don’t come home to you

    “It kills me too,” he said, it kills me too

    . . . .

    All these restless nights corrupt my mind with every day

    and I can’t help feeling stuck in time behind a thousand miles away

    While life keeps moving faster, I guess that’s what we asked for

    . . . .

    I sleep in an unmade bed of questions

    Holding out in hope that I will see the sun

    Let me lie awake then, write the whole night through

    I can’t hold you close but I can sing this song to you

    “It kills me too,” he said,

    “It kills me too,” he said,

    “It kills me too,” he said,

    it kills me too

  • I smell like cigarettes I didn’t smoke

    California’s funny, it’s a sick joke

    You’d love to translate for me, wouldn’t you, huh?

    Driving down the coastline in your soft top

    If you say divine, one more time, then I’ll lose it

    Stop painting me the deity in your pseudo mythology

    There’s always less legroom than I remember in economy

    At least I hear the music again

    Day trip out to Belair, thanks, Apollo

    All the clout you can eat just don’t swallow

    You won’t abandon this wild hunt will you

    My Arms into branches just to shield you

    Ooh, say divine, one more time, and I’ll lose it

    Stop painting me the deity in your pseudo mythology

    There’s always less legroom than I remember in economy

    At least I hear the music again

    At least I hear the music again

  • early twenty something, cooler from afar

    i miss standing tiptoe, reaching for the cookie jar

    i didn’t have the words then, for searchin’ always searchin’

    early twenty something, apathy is sexy

    workin on my poker face, I won’t smile till they let me

    i’m under meditated, overmedicated 

    sleeping pills cause sleeping just feels wasteful

    and I hate it

    take it easy

    troubadour's a pipedream, I’m more like a salesman

    making shiny things and begging folks to listen

    no matter where the work ends, searchin’ always searchin’

    early twenty something, I want something diff’rent

    places that’ll change me, special friends worth missin’

    i’m under meditated, overmedicated 

    sleeping pills cause sleeping just feels wasteful

    and I hate it

    take it easy

    i think i’m obsessed

    with a version of myself

    that I still haven’t met

    i only see her in passing

    . . . .

    under meditated, overmedicated 

    sleeping pills cause sleeping just feels wasteful

    and I hate it

    take it easy

  • Softer from a distance the closer in you go. there’s

    patience in the driveway and patterns in the road

    And upstairs someone’s wond’ring

    When their someone’s coming home 


    As the night takes over and life fades from the sky

    With nakes trees of April and warm breeze like july

    Mark the page like always, another day goes by

    With someone thanking jesus, and someone asking why


    I could scrub the surface clean assemble some control

    Or take a dive for meaning in the caverns of my soul

    Maybe i’ll find madness, maybe i’ll strike gold

    Singing pica pica when i go


    Hid your flannel sweater in the panel of my couch

    Sometimes in my travels a mem’ry gets too loud

    Heard it calling to me, feared I might call back

    Cause i could say i miss you, but what’s the point in that?


    I could scrub the surface clean assemble some control

    Or take a dive for meaning in the caverns of my soul

    It’s not just that i miss you, i miss when we were whole

    Singing pica pica when I go


    Pica pica, pica, pica

    Pica pica take me home


    Went back to the spot we found and called our secret door

    It didn’t feel the same this time, the way it did before

    (and) you won’t catch the difference in mirrors or my hands

    Maybe it’s between the birds and me to understand 


    I could scrub the surface clean and semble some control

    Or take a dive for meaning in the caverns of my soul

    And that’s just how i’m feeling, but feelings all i know

    Singing pica pica when I go


  • Hey baby

    What if I asked you to quit?

    Would you do it?

    Would you do it?

    You’re doin a great job

    Of doin your day job

    You’re working hard babe, that I can see

    But, you’re not doin a great job (of) lovin me

    Hey baby

    I told you more than one time

    Now it’s a problem

    And this one’s not mine

    You’re doin a great job

    Of doin your day job

    You’re working hard babe, that I can see

    But, you’re not doin a great job (of) lovin me

  • Just like that our world split in two

    I just lost a lifetime with you

    Back to all the old ways, the cold days I knew

    I just lost a lifetime, I just lost a lifetime with you


    Won’t you slow down for me now

    Two times, three times round the block

    We held on till we had to stop, oh

    We held on


    Just like that our world split in two

    I just lost a lifetime with you

    Back to all the old ways, the cold days I knew

    I just lost a lifetime, I just lost a lifetime with you


    We could take the high road

    Plan to keep in touch for all the good it does

    Mama, please don’t say it

    It doesn’t help to think about how nice he was 

    There was no right time, but it 

    Doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right thing to do,

    And it’s still so hard to lose


    Just like that our world split in two

    I just lost a lifetime with you

    Back to all the old ways, the cold days I knew

    I just lost a lifetime, I just lost a lifetime with you

  • Must the sun set emerald green

    To see just what your missin

    Should the weeping willow sing

    For you to stop and listen

    I don’t wanna blame you

    And I shouldn’t have to tame you

    Let me save you the apology

    If I’m not for you that’s fine

    Must the sleeping peaks erupt

    To vie for your attention

    Must I go and get dressed up

    To dance around the question

    No I don’t wanna blame you

    And I shouldn’t have to tame you

    Though it hurts, the time will help you’ll se

    And if I’m not for you that’s fine

    . . . .

    Will you keep an even keel

    When I tell you that I’m leavin’

    Are you holdin’ back the things you feel

    For some ungodly reason

    I have done the best I can

    And I won’t spend this lifetime guessin

    If that leaves me empty hands

    i’ll take the hard-earned lesson

    No I don’t wanna blame you

    And I’m never gonna change you

    Time to wake up from this reverie

    If I’m not for you then you’re not for me

    And if I’m not for you that’s fine

  • When I asked for distance, you said “that makes sense

    and anyways it’s about time for a dopamine cleanse”

    I laughed through the phone, even though I agreed

    You’re the only one i know to put it so rationally

    Might as well get to the heart of it

    Lonely’s grown roots in this love we’ve built, and

    I’ve made a habit of needing you

    To need me, before thinking

    I could be drowning, and might be

    While needing you, to need me

    Molly won’t stop talking up some bullshit about twin flames

    I don’t have the patience for conspiracies about shared pain

    But later on I found it burning in my mind

    And that’s not a non starter, but it’s not a good sign


    Last night spent in my childhood bed

    Thinking of ways to explain it instead, how

    I’ve made a habit of needing you

    To need me before thinking

    I could be drowning and might be

    While needing you, to need me

    . . . . 

    Need me

    You won’t leave me,  will you?

  • It was 3 in the morning

    You wanted falafel, I said

    “It’s new york city, I bet we could find some”

    And down by the station he said he was closin’

    But you smiled, n he made one

    And I couldn’t blame him


    If we’re not gonna make it

    I’ll be the first to say it

    . . . .

    I met your family and it

    Raised some questions

    I don’t like passing judgement, but it’s

    Where you came from


    I tried to fake it and

    Smile through dinner

    But you asked what’s the matter, so I

    Had to play dumb

    If we’re not gonna make it

    I’ll be the first to say it


    . . . . 

    Cooking in, spinning out

    Weekends wane, Sunday blues

    Lie in shame, there’s a name for this

    ...We won’t use

    I don’t wanna be cruel, but it’s true

    I was lying when I said I don’t deserve you

    I’m just so sick of trying to

    . . . . 

    It’s coming, 

    do something

    If we’re not gonna make it

    Don’t act like we can take it

    If we’re not gonna make it

    I’ll be the first to say it

  • Baby let’s pick up and move to Portland

    Pack your mom’s red truck with all your junk and head

    Nothin’s keepin’ you here now

    We made that pretty clear now

    And it feels alright

    Sweet creature, thrill seeker

    You don’t need to stick around

    Nomadder, don’t you feel bad, your just

    Gettin’ good at comin’ home to a quiet house

    Baby let’s do anything you feel like

    Walk it down La Brea in the dark

    Who you wanna be now?

    It’s only you and me now

    And it feels alright

    Yeah it feels alright

    Sweet creature, thrill seeker

    You don’t need to stick around

    Nomadder, don’t you feel bad, your just

    Gettin’ good at comin’ home to a quiet house

    . . . .

    Somewhere in August in someone’s backyard

    You made it promise to stop trying so hard

    Sweet creature, thrill seeker

    You don’t need to stick around

    Nomadder, don’t you feel bad, your just

    Gettin’ good at comin’ home to a quiet house